So what's the point?
Ilaria James looked into his eyes, took a sip of warm beer and tried to rearrange ideas.
knew that question would come sooner or later, it was in the air for half an hour. The friends usually have a tendency not to ask certain things, even if they would all right, she thought. Indeed, it would have a duty! But no: he Stano them, still and quiet, we listen in silence and tell you that everything will work out. They look at you with a sincere look sad, they give you pats on the back and say that soon things will return to run the right way. Ilaria
had always been different. He had heard all his history, he had looked carefully for several minutes while he pitted the issue, analyze it as much as possible posted his recent depression. He nodded after a few steps, shook his head after another, but never commented. She had never stopped.
Then, when he had finished speaking, satisfied with had drawn up with clarity and perfection of the situation, she had smiled. He watched for a few seconds in his cup of coffee, as if looking for some inspiration. Then he asked that question.
him and Jade had long loved. Then one day, she left him. He did not know if she had met another guy, but it was the only explanation that could be, when he bit the sheets in sleepless nights. It is often easier to find something to blame when things do not go, and maybe Jade had done the same reasoning.
He had decided to pass the thing: often tried to convince himself that at his age think they are special stories of normal. He had gone out with different girls, after the fact. But neither was she.
Claudia, for example. She was a beautiful girl, beautiful, coveted by at least fifty percent of his class. They had gone to bed several times after that Jade was gone, and surely he liked. But, unfortunately, was not her.
Paola, then. Paola fell in love with him, his ability to tell stories, to invent a realm of their own to escape to, when the world was too ugly to live. Together, he and Paula, had been traveling, talking on the phone: one night of the sultans had been a small but rich Eastern country, the next night she was magically transformed into a perilous quest, and he a cop helped her to escape. Paola had tried to kill himself, the previous year, and often asked, before closing the call, as it would have survived if he had not suddenly appeared. They had made love one night, looking in his eyes, fingers intertwined, and only a sigh. But it was not her. Paola had everything to be loved, to be the right woman: sadness, madness, beauty, depth, culture. But it was not Jade.
Perhaps the problem was that he and Jade had continued to feel, from time to time: they were short calls, childish, for the most part quiet. She said "I miss you", "maybe I made a mistake." He breathed plan, trying to slow the heart, knowing that whatever he said, would not be served. Or maybe he was wrong. He was never able to conceive a relationship with a woman lacks the depth of the eyes, the emotion of the first physical contact, he loved to tell stories that there was always a look found in the midst of thousands, who could enter the depths of ' feelings and emotions gripping intestine. He thought it was stupid to waste time with someone who can stir the kind of emotions: life is too short to trivialize himself with a love that is not love.
pain, as the days pass, had been replaced by a relative apathy that allowed him to start again to live, but I feel good, well, it was something else. She could spend two or three days without thinking of Jade, was back laughing and drinking with old friends.
Then he met Ilaria usual bar. They had not seen for several months and she wanted to be updated on everything. Ilaria Jade adored: he had often claimed that they were perfect together, the proof that love really can be meaningful.
Then, that question.
"James, I understand perfectly the situation," he added, because our failed to do anything but mumble something, "But what's the point? I've told the whole story as if it were written a book on the nineteenth century, as if I had read hundreds of times. You are absolutely mind in your situation, and I can not believe that the old friend that I know so well can still be here after all this time, to cry on about how life has been unfair to him. You do not like women, you make them fall in love with you. This is a precious gift, you must not underestimate. But you have to get this damn "point" now. Devi, after you've told this story a hundred thousand times, answer a simple question: so what? "
James watched with resignation the evil smile that had drawn the perfect lips of his friend. He was right. It was the perfect reconstruction of events, everything was perfect. He was even right when he thought that Jade would one day regret it. And then?
Then he said what he had in his heart, the last part of the story, that he had not told anyone. Who tried in every way to hide even from himself.
"So, my dear, I do not want to be like everyone else. Everyone would smile, long after the tears, and would continue to live their own life, throwing himself into work, study, but especially in the arms of another. Everyone would listen to sad songs and courageous, they sang Farewell Guccini and turned the page on a story that was nothing but an ordinary story.
But I know that I was special. Love, if you have it in your heart, you can not eject it. Or the water, and cure him, or rots inside you and destroys you. So I'm gonna live my life, of course, continue to follow my dreams, one after another. But it'll never say, "maybe once my words could move you, but now it is useless because every time you cry and you laugh, cry and laugh with me." Because one day you will look back at what we were two of us, and I will do the same: we have a lot of regrets, a lot of remorse, or we think that despite the evil that we made, we were the special one for the other. Ilaria, at least you understand me here is what is the point. I will continue to be special, and I want you to continue to be. Why that day, among a thousand, she caught my eye and he did his, and when I look in my eyes, I can still see the same light. I can not think that should not mean anything. "
Ilaria smiled. "Here, James. You're back. "
